Eventually it did, and I drifted off to sleep.In that dream, Leslie was my Mom, and I don’t know who was my Dad (he never appeared in the dream). She was even a bigger actress (famous), so we had money and lived in a really fancy house in some big fancy city. All I remember, though, was that she and I spent a lot of time together playing and talking all day, and we would be in silky pajamas together. She would hug and kiss me all the time, and I would hug and kiss her back, and put my head between her breasts. She would giggle and hold them tight around my head for a few seconds, then open her arms, pull my head out, and kiss me … on the LIPS! We would be in bed, doing this, sliding around in our silk pajamas (pink for both of us, on smoky gray sheets, with black pillowcases). Sometimes my penis would get hard and poke her, but she never got mad or acted like she even noticed it. We would go to the kitchen and make a big tray of food and drinks, and take it back to bed and watch TV. There’s spiritual love and the love of God. There’s the love of understanding that another man has for a woman. There is the love we all have with our families. It’s not just all kissing and doing the nasty that proves that this love exists. And it’s hard, especially when I made my living by having sex with other men, because that was the only thing I thought I could offer them.“But now that I’ve stayed sober, I’m going to the college here in town, and I’m working towards establishing a good career for myself that doesn’t involve sex but something that uses my mind instead of my body to get the things that I want. Because giving up my old career hasn’t been easy for me. There was something about my need to find love that pushed me to do it, and I wanted to find that perfect family with a man—the pie-in-the-sky dream of the nice house and the white-picket fence, and it wasn’t until I hit rock-bottom and face down on the floor of a jail cell that I realized that all of my drinking,.
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